Sitting in the Dark
by Yueh-san
Summary: He liked the dark, it was like a cloak. It muffled his crying, covered it. Comforted him, no one could possibly hear him here, like this. KuroFai R&R Please! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Tsubasa (sadly) I am just some random person who happens to be hooked to the manga

**Warning:** Shounen-ai! It's a KuroFai fanfic, what did you expect? XD Also I have called Mokona a girl because that's what I think she is, and hopefully im right, but if I'm not please don't hesitate to tell me!

A/N: YAY! first fic! this is a special moment! Anyways at the bottom of the chapter there's a guide to the honorifics (yes im a boring person!) so PLEASE look it over! R&R please!

**Prologue**

He liked the dark, it was like a cloak. It muffled his crying, covered it. Comforted him, no one could possibly hear him here, like this. Outside it was night, the moon throwing distorted shadows over random objects. Leaning against the wall, in his corner, he could see the whole room. He listened hard and watched the patch of light coming from underneath his door. He had told them that he wanted to go to bed early, a sorry excuse considering he hadn't been acting quite himself all day. But while he was behind his smile no one suspected a thing. He lowered his head to his knees.

_Ashura-ou..._

How had he hurt him so?

**Chapter 1**

Kurogane looked absently around the room. There was someone missing...the sake was making his mind a little fuzzy. He concentrated, counting his surrounding companions. _Syaoran, Sakura,Manjuu bun..._ He was sure there was one missing. But who was it? _Ah, **he's** missing..._

"Oi! Syaoran, where's Fai?"

"Fai-san? Ummm...I believe he went to bed early, said something about resting up for the search. Didn't quite seem himself, but maybe it was just exhaustion." Syaoran shrugged, getting up from the table.

"We better be getting to bed soon, Sakura-hime" he said, turning to the princess. She got up with his help, mumbling something like 'it is late'.Glancing back at Kurogane they said their good nights and left down the corridor.

Mokona attempted to latch onto Kurogane but was quick to change her mind after receiving a rather large bump on her head. She retreated quickly after Sakura and Syaorancheeringsomething that sounded like "Kuro-pin's mean!"

Kurogane slowly pushed back from the dining table. To be honest he was a little worried about Fai, he didn't seem himself lately. His fake mask seemed to be falling slightly, faltering. Something was definitely bothering him. _Well...im sure he wouldn't mind me checking on him...he's probably asleep anyway..._

Fai curled tighter into his corner. Tears rolled freely off his cheeks. He shuddered some but did not make a single sound. Suddenly the light coming from beneath the door was blocked. Fai, of course didn't see through his tears however he did hear the door creak open.

Kurogane looked blankly at the room then to his companion curled in the corner, head on him knees, shuddering slightly. The look on Kurogane's face could only be described as an absolute shock. _Fai...crying! this is incredulous..._ Kurogane stepped hesitantlyover to his friend. _What's wrong, Fai?_

"Fai..."

"I-I'm alright...Kurogane...please just leave..."

Fai didn't want him here, to see him like this. He didn't want Kurogane to think of him as some cry baby. Yet...yet he needed him here...he needed someone to comfort him. But he was sure Kurogane would hate to have a friend who was so...weak and defenseless. A friend who cried about his past even though it was a long time ago.

Kurogane stood for a moment. He wanted to comfort Fai...but if Fai said he was alright then maybe he should just leave him alone. Emotions weren't exactly Kurogane's best subject, and something he did not want to make a mistake in. But Fai was crying...he couldn't just leave him there, that would be the worst thing he could do; just walk out and pretend nothing was wrong. What kind of a friend would just **leave** Fai to sit there and sob all by himself. The sight _hurt_ him...of Fai lying here, hurt on the ground...

Kurogane straightened slightly and walked right up to Fai, who shied away at his presence. He reached out slightly, touching Fai's shoulder. Fai tensed when he felt Kurogane's hand touch his shoulder, flinching slightly. Feeling his friend tighten, Kurogane pushed himself to crouch down next to him. He tried, awkwardly, to embrace Fai, which was quite difficult, considering Fai was right up against the wall. _Im gunna make you stop crying if it kills me, alright? _

Fai kept his face downcast. He couldn't protest at Kurogane's movements, after all he was very comforting. However Fai couldn't resist an involuntary flinch as he felt his comrades touch. He stilled slightly, trying rein in the urge to cry that had overcome him. He didn't want Kurogane to see him crying, ever.

"Fai...Fai, listen..listen, I'm here, alright? I...I don't want to see you crying like this...all alone, ok? And...I don't want to see you bottle yourself up like this...I don't want you to hurt Fai..."

Fai collapsed into Kurogane's embrace at these words. Kurogane, shocked slightly as his friend lent against his chest, quickly relaxed and placed his arms on Fai's back, feeling his friend shake underneath his fingertips. He moved from his crouching position to simply sitting on the hard wood floor.

"He loved me...he did, he told me so everyday...I loved him too...you know that?...I loved him right back...no matter what he did I forgave him...I was so stupid...I was a fool to think it was all real..."

Fai mumbled into Kurogane's chest, gripping tightly at Kurogane's shirt. Tears flooded out of his eyes, wetting his comrade's clothes. His knuckles were white from gripping, holding on as if his life depended on it. He lifted his head, letting his blue, teary eyes meet with the crimson ones that belonged to the ninja.

"Should I have believed him?...He talked like he loved me...he smiled like he loved me...he even kissed me like he loved me...but it wasn't true was it?...was it Kurogane?"

Kurogane looked mildly surprised as his friend met his gaze. He wasn't quite getting what Fai was implying, but the pain that flashed in his friends stormy eyes made him want to tear this person to absolute pieces. What does it matter if it makes him weaker, as long as he could make this hurt fall from his friends eyes. He couldn't...**wouldn't** put a label on what Fai made him feel... Maybe he'd focus on it later, when Fai seemed more like the Fai he knew. He spent some time thinking up an answer, considering he didn't know who this bastard was in the first place.

" Fai...-"

"He didn't did he...he lied...he...he _used_ me...but, he saved me didn't he?...when everyone hated me he _saved _me...it doesn't make sense..."

Fai shook his head and pushed his face back into Kurogane's chest. His breath became harsh and ragged with sobs which eventually subsided into slower more paced breaths. He pushed himself further into the warmth, pulling tight on his friends shirt. Words formed in his mind...he needed to apologize for his behavior, his abrupt showing of weakness. But he didn't want to leave this moment...

"G-gomenasai, Kurogane...I don't want to bother you...I...I think I'm alright now" Fai whispered into Kurogane, his voice a little hoarse from crying.

Kurogane smiled slightly, his red eyes looking down at his slight friend curled up against him. _And yet he apologizes for being himself, he is really an idiot..._

"No need to apologize for tears..." _I don't mind...Anyway, its that bastard's fault, who ever he is..._

Fai opened his eyes, seeing only the fabric of Kurogane's shirt. A small look of surprise crossed his hidden face. New tears started to well up in his blue eyes. He knew there was no need to say what he wanted, he was sure his friend would be able to sense it. _Thank you..._Fai didn't even seem to notice that exhaustion had taken over him.

**End Chapter 1**

A/N AHHHH! yay! i think that went pretty well! anyone who is not familiar with the term gomenasai it means 'i'm sorry' (yes,i know Tsubasa isn't set in japan but i LOVE using japanese terms!) Heres thatlist of honorifics i told you about!

**HONORIFICS**

-san: equivalent to Mr.,Mrs., Miss or Ms. All purpose honorific and used when politeness is required

-chan: Used to express endearment, usually towards girls. Can be used for little boys, pets and even lovers. It gives a sense of childish cuteness.

-rin,-tan,-myu, -pin,-pii etc: The honorifics Fai usually uses to address Kurogane are usually used amongst highschool girls to make their names sound cute.

-ou: equivalent to her or his magasty. Addressing a king or queen.

-hime: equivalent to her or his highness. Addressing a prince or princess

-blank: The lack of honorifics means the speaker has permission to address the person in a very intimate way. Usually only family, spouses and close friends have this permission. But when the intimacy is not earned it can also be very insulting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** ahhhhhhh didn't I already do this? Alright all right...for this chapter...maybe mild cursing, maybe some moments...nothing to be seriously worried about, unless you are uncomfortable during mild situation of romance, which really aren't that scaryYAY SHOUNEN-AI!

**Disclaimer:** I own the most adorable kitten who is named after the card captor, but that's all I own of any of CLAMP's creations.

A/N: CHAPTER 2! I'm sure I am more ecstatic than you people! Ok ill be quiet now! People of fanfiction-dot-net I bring to you the SECOND CHAPTER! -dramatic music, curtain comes up-

**Chapter 2**

Fai woke up; slightly surprised he even went to sleep in the first place. He opened his eyes, trying to register his surroundings. His eyes opened slightly, viewing the room as if through fogged up glass. _Seems alright to me..._ He rolled over slightly, looking blankly out the window._ Ah...I get it...I'm in bed...but how did I get here..._The sound of breathing reached his ears, his eyes straining to find the source of the sound.

_Kuro-tan!_

Sure enough, the imposing stock still figure dressed all in black sat rigidly in a chair next to his bed. Kurogane's crimson eyes were only half opened, reacting only to the movement on the bed. Watching Fai's surprise at his presence Kurogane pushed off the chair and moved towards his comrade. His hand reached out and brushed gently against Fai's forehead and a frown dusted his features.

Fai could only stare blankly at his friend thinking of all the things he could say, but no words were actually spoken. Just the simple contact of Kurogane's hand to his forehead. It was nothing more than that, a simple friendly gesture. But why did it make him hold his breath and wait for more? He mentally shook his head, he had to say something, maybe it would wipe the worry off his friends face.

"Kuro-pin...? What time is it?"

Kurogane looked mildly surprised at his friend's voice. Mostly what he felt was relief; he wasn't quite sure how long it would be until his friend would want to talk to him again, after his so called embarrassing episode the night before. He looked out towards the window, judging the time by how high the sun was.

"I'd say its late morning, hour 'til noon. Syaoran and Sakura left earlier with the manjuu bun, right after breakfast actually. Speaking of breakfast...you hungry, Fai?"

Fai nodded, not needing much time to remember he had left dinner early. His eyes looked wistfully out the window staring blankly at random plants. So the kids had left on their search, of course, nothing less from Syaoran-kun…_But why has Kuro-pin stayed behind? He knew I would be fully functional when I woke up, he knew he could leave me alone but he **didn't**…_

Kurogane looked blankly at his friend, waiting for him to get up. He had been with him most of the morning and wished dearly for some food. He was not quite sure why he had even bothered to watch the mage sleep. He didn't seem to want to leave Fai all by himself again.

Fai looked down at the blankets covering him. He was reluctant to get up even though he could feel his hunger pulsing. _Well if you can't remember what you're going to say just get up, you're worrying **him**_. Fai pushed up from his bed, swaying slightly as he stood on his feet. He quietly put a hand, beneath his light blond bangs, to his temples, rubbing them slightly. _Kami-sama, do I have a headache…_

Kurogane looked worriedly over at his friend. _Well, he hasn't got a fever…_He looked at Fai's eyes, if anything he looked tired. Kurogane watched as his comrade fell forward into his arms. He held him for a moment before pushing Fai back into bed.

"On second thought, I think it would be better if you just ate in bed. Do you mind if I leave to get breakfast? I could wait until you're asleep again"

Fai looked tiredly up at his friend, counting how many times his head had throbbed. The pain in his head subsiding enough for him to hear what Kurogane had to say. He shook his head a little.

"No…you can go get breakfast; I don't want to be a burden to you Kuro-chin. I'm fine; really…I'm sorry for worrying you, Kuro-pin"

Kurogane nodded slightly. Giving his comrade one last suspicious look he turned and walked slowly to the door, still wondering what was eating at his friend.

Unwanted tears welled up again in Fai's blue eyes. _Unneeded, unwanted, unloved…yet you still manage to cause problems, you are completely** useless**…_The tears splashed onto his blankets, leaving little, dark, wet spots.

Hearing Fai's muffled sobs Kurogane turned around. At the sight of Fai crying his red eyes widened. He quickly went to his friend, sitting next to him on the bed.

"Oi, Fai…Fai…? "

Tears continued to roll off Fai's pale face. Noticing his comrade so close by Fai bent his head lower. _He's put up with this once, there's no reason for him to stay with me again…He could just leave; he didn't need to come back…_Fai was quickly jolted back into reality as he felt his friends fingers cup his chin.

Kurogane tilted his comrade's face up, until he could stare right into those tear-filled, sky blue eyes. With this connection the tears seemed to quell slightly, not falling from their perch on Fai's eyes. Kurogane stopped for a minute, savoring the real Fai, not the one with fake smiles plastered on every single day, every waking moment. He felt his fingers go numb against his friend's cold, white skin.

Fai looked unblinkingly at those red eyes. _When did they become so full of…concern?_ He unconsciously held his breath, only realizing when he realized he wasn't moving, at all. Not even for breathing. Quickly he released his breath and took another; this was a moment he would want to be conscious through. _K-Kuro-chan...?_

Kurogane took a breath of his own, deciding that attempting to piece his thoughts together. Feeling his friend relax, he started slowly, stumbling over the words as if he were walking over foreign territory and tripping over the new ground.

"F-Fai…You gotta…You gotta stop **doing** this to yourself…I...I don't like seeing you hurt…It hurts me…alright? Stop...Stop beating yourself up about something that…that isn't your fault…Don't you get it? Some…Some people cares about you, some…some people want to see your real smile…"

Fai's eyes closed at the words. The tears that had been balanced carefully spilled elegantly over the corners of his eyes. The droplet slid slowly over his face. It was soon captured by something that brushed itself over the tear. Fai's eyes snapped open as he realized what it must be.

Kurogane clumsily kissed the tear as it ran freely down his friends face. Seeing his friends eyes snap open he gave a small smile. _Yes, Fai…People do care about you…people…people like…people like **me**_ Kurogane lent forward slightly, and that was all it took to.

Fai felt his friend lean forward and in less then a few seconds the friendly contact had changed, smoothly into some else completely. He felt warmth rush through his as Kurogane's lips touched his own. He could tell simply from the approach that this was one of Kurogane's first. Fai returned the kiss, trying to make sure that his friend wouldn't break the contact. _You can't live in the same moment forever, Fai…_

Kurogane was the one the broke the contact. He was sure that his comrade could see the slight blush set on his features. He lent forward, just enough so that Fai could hear him. His voice was so small he wasn't sure if anyone would be able to hear him is he was talking in their ear.

"O…Okay, Fai…?"

Fai's lips tugged into a small smile. He nodded slightly, understanding his friend. He watched the ninja straighten up visibly, as he stood up. He wasn't really looking at Fai, more at the headboard of the bed. He mumbled something very quickly, and the only words Fai managed to catch were "Breakfast" and "Be back soon". Fai gave his friend a wide smile, he was sure he could see a bright red blush covering Kurogane's face as he left the room.

**End Chapter 2**

A/N: Was that a good chapter ending? I think I'm going to write another chapter to finish their day...and maybe when Syaoran and Sakura get back…:D hope you enjoyed it!(Oh, yes and Kami-sama means Lord God, bother me if i forget to translate something)

A thank you to **Hayama 4, lovova, Hakudoshi-chan, Kitinu, YamiTai, ****Silith Akaihane **and everyone who has read this! I hope it was a very enjoyable experience! Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning:** ummm….nothing completely unexpected…I would say nothing your peoples can't handle

**Disclaimer**: Tsubasa is an extremely well written and drawn manga; I could never be the creator of something so successful

A/N: Ohisashiburi! Gomen nasai…it took me a long time to figure out what to write! YAY! LAST CHAPTER! Chapter 3! Hope this is all very enjoyable for you! YAY PLEASE ENJOY! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

**Chapter 3**

Kurogane walked quickly down the hallway, careful to make sure he could get as far from Fai's room as quickly as possible. Finally making it to the kitchen he relaxed slightly, leaning lightly on a counter. _What the HELL was that Kurogane! _He sighed slightly, pictures of that moment floated dreamily to his mind. He shook his head fiercely_. No,NO, NO! _With a slightly dazed look Kurogane started to heat up Fai's breakfast.

Fai smiled hazily, slumping onto his pillows. _Kuro-chan's not terrible at it is he..._He fingered his blanket thoughtfully then gazed out the window. _Maybe Syaoran and Sakura-chan will be back for lunch..._

Kurogane stomped into the room, seemingly right on cue. He held a breakfast tray containing something Sakura had called 'pancakes' and 'orange juice'. He was not used to the food as it had to be eaten with utensils instead of chopsticks. Having a strong dislike for sugary food Kurogane had eaten a less sweet breakfast of toast. He thrust it down in front of his comrade, willing himself not to blush.

"Here you go...Sakura made it some time ago but I think it should be just as good"

Fai took the tray and gave his comrade a smile. He wasn't quite sure if it was real or a fake, but he was sure Kurogane could tell. His blue eyes looked at the tray then at his friend, noticing a slight hint of a blush covering his cheeks and the way his words weren't darkened as usual. His friends usual angry glare and 'aura' seemed to not be present at all.

"Thank you, Kuro-pon! You're not a bad puppy after all! I bet that you didn't eat this for breakfast though, you don't like sugar do you Kuro-pipi?"

Kurogane didn't even bother to register the fact he'd been called one of his most disliked nicknames. He had caught the smile that Fai had given him. It wasn't fake at all. _It was...beautiful _he thought absently. His comrade's real smile had absolutely dazzled him. He blinked simply, staring at the blonde as he ate his breakfast. It took a few minutes before Kurogane realized he was gawking and quickly tore away his gaze, only to blush a violent red while looking out the window. After a few long seconds he finally was able to find a comprehensible answer.

"No…damn mage, you know I hate sweet stuff"

Fai ate his meal as quickly as he could. He wasn't really hungry, but refusing a meal after last nights ordeal might make his comrade a little more anxious about his behavior and that might lead to something a little more violent. The breakfast was really quite good, Sakura had gotten very good at making meals now that they decided it was cheaper to make than to go out to eat or order in. They didn't really want to force Sakura to go out and gamble every single night they were here just so they could eat. He looked up absently, quickly enough to see his comrade turn to the window, a deep blush on his handsome features.

Kurogane caught his friends stare and quickly countered it, making Fai drop his gaze to stare absently down at his tray. His blush subsided slightly, quickly covered up by irritation. He pushed the chair he had used the night before into its original position, right next to the bed. Noticing his friend had stopped eating his brow creased with worry. Turning he leaned forward slightly to catch his friend's expression.

Fai looked up for his tray, looking straight at Kurogane's scarlet eyes, a mischievous smile plastered on his face.

"Kuro-pyon, you're so handsome when you worry!"

Kurogane, caught off-guard by this, immediately turned an adorable pink as a blush spread across his cheeks. Avoiding Fai's blue gaze he looked down at the breakfast tray. His mind scrambled to find words to string together, why was it so hard to find a useful response? How was it that Fai made him act like a total idiot? If he was in his homeland he would surely be laughed at for acting so foolish. After a few seconds he finally managed to stammer out a reply.

"D-damn mage! I dragged this whole breakfast up here and your not even gunna eat--"

Kurogane stopped short in his attempt to lecture Fai on eating breakfast by Fai, taking advantage of his comrades open mouth, shoving a piece of pancake into his mouth. He only received a smile from Fai before he started chewing. He hardly had time to think before Fai reached up and pressed his lips against Kuroganes', his tongue slipping between. Kurogane's eyes opened, not expecting this at all, however he soon relaxed into the kiss. He quickly wrapped his arms around Fai's back, drawing his closer and deepening the kiss.

After a few minutes of furious tongue battles (Fai as victor) they parted, Kurogane finally swallowing his bite of pancake, head titled questioning as he was still puzzled at what had just happened. Fai smiled at his friend's slightly confused, yet content expression. Kurogane was absolutely _adorable_ when he was confused.

"See, Kuro-tan? Sugar isn't reeeeeally that bad is it?"

Kurogane attempted glare faltered. He couldn't be REALLY mad at the mage for forcing him to eat that sugary crap. If that's the award he got for eating stuff like that, there'd be no doubt he would be a sugar addict. Hooked. After last night he could have never imagined this would be the way it would have turned out, not that he wasn't happy with it (he was ecstatic), it was just…so unexpected.

Of course it was obvious that Fai would still fake happy…but, maybe Kurogane wanted Fai to be more open to him? Well, he supposed, he couldn't expect that IMMEDIATELY. He smiled down at the mage, picking up the tray and setting it aside, to avoid anything toppling over.

Leaning over Fai he bent down and pressed his lips against Fai's, pulling him closer with his arm, his other arm pressed on the bed to keep his balance. Soon Fai relaxed into the kiss, leaning forward, eager to intensify it. He pulled away from Fai, finally breaking the kiss he managed to come up with an appropriate reply to his question.

"No…I suppose its not, huh Fai?"

**End Chapter 3**

A/N: Sadly this is the last chapter! cries and I actually really enjoyed writing AND reading it (I don't usually read what I write for the reason that I will usually dislike it, I don't usually read it even when proof reading) Gomen ne for it being short too (it was just TOO CUTE) I hope you all enjoyed _Sitting in the Dark_!

A thank you to **Hakudoshi-chan, NejiGirl, crystal-chan, SlashyKitty, KatReyusaki, Kitinu, Miss Takin, SullenRingsFan, YamiTai, Yurihara Kakinoki, Silith Akaihane, Tamashii Karisa, Misokat, Sakurae Kirisa, artemis247, White Phoenix aka Ryoko, Saruke, Twilight Shades, Ueste, Kai Angel **and** Hayama 4 **and to everyone who has read this! Hopefully this was enjoyable to read!

Arigato Gomashita!

Ja ne!


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